Time has run out

Memento Mori

As a final goodbye to Unus Annus I'd just like to write about the way it's helped me with my own personal challenge. I'm really bad at letting things go, genuinely horrible I have so many little things I've held on to because I think I might need them later or I don't trust myself to remember, but UA was an incredible exercise for me to practice just. Letting things go. Since July when I found the channel I was going back and forth, should I save these select few videos for myself to watch later or should I let go of it, should I respect the channel mission. And let it be known I respect and admire their goal to the highest degree, and that's why I was so conflicted about this. Even if they would never know, even if I would never tell a soul that I had videos saved, it would disrespect the spirit of what they were trying to do and I realized I need to learn how to let things go. And I also realized, if I want to establish that I was here for it, if I want the world to know that I went through this experience I couldn't do it by having a file on my computer, I needed to create something myself. I don't know if they did it intentionally or not, but they created a scenario where people had to make their own mementos to remember the channel by, whether that be a drawing, jewelry, a sculpture or a page like this, so I decided on the final day to get down to work and I ran around buying the beads I needed, getting my drawing done and it felt fantastic to post my art in the last 15 minutes of the channel. I'm not the proudest of what I made, I could certainly do better given more time and preparation, but that's the thing. I didn't use my time wisely and I need to take this as a learning experience, that I shouldn't wait until I'm in crunch mode, if there's something I want to do I need to use my time as wisely as possible and not waste a second. While I'm not proud of the piece I produced, I am proud of what I learned and how I adapted to the situation. When I tell you listening to Mark speak about all this stuff changed my entire view on how I live my life I mean it wholeheartedly. I truly did not understand the weight of the lesson until the absolute last minutes, and then it punched me right in the face. I'm still working with a whole slew of issues, I'm in my senior year of high school, I'm also trying to get back into regularly drawing again, I only just found out I have ADHD, but even with all this stuff life throws at me I need to push through it and get done what I need to. And maybe, it won't be my best work, but instead of wallowing in it and not doing anything at all, I'll be able to look back and be proud of myself for trying and persevering instead of shutting down and waiting for life to carry me along. If by any chance Mark or Ethan are reading this, I just wanted to say thank you. You are both such impressive people and I 100% agree that 2020 was probably the best year for Unus Annus. It was so incredible to see you guys still try to make the best stuff you could under the circumstances and I'm trying to find a balance between pushing myself and not being too mean to myself, but I definitely needed a shove to get towards the "pushing myself" end of that spectrum, and you guys really helped with that. Aside from that, the experience of that kind of loss was stunning to go through. When it ended I went up and down in how I felt for the next day, I'm still somewhat coming to terms with it but for the most part I've accepted it and I'm happy that in the last hours I was able to show all my favorite videos to my friend who had never watched you guys. At first I was a little upset I wasn't able to watch all 12 hours of the stream, but we watched together for the last couple hours and I'm glad that I took the time to show him the channel so we could do that. This went on for far longer than I intended so thank you if you read all this. Remember, death comes for us all, but that also means you have to live to the fullest extent possible and then some. Always try to push a little further, even if it's just an inch. An inch is always more than nothing.